In his best selling book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, Stephen R Covey states, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
One arena where this is patently obvious and incredibly detrimental is the end of life arena.
Some of the most powerful healing experiences I have participated in have been where I have said very little…and those of you who know me well might find that hard to believe!!
Our dying, our loved ones, our compassionate care professionals are just like everyone else – they want to be heard. Not someone listening to reply, to counter, to solve, to fix, just deeply listened to and genuinely heard.
To have someone sit with them, deeply connect with them, focus all their attention on them and to actively listen to not just what is being said, but what is being communicated on every level.
To have a safe space where the totality of their experiences can be shared, knowing that sometimes there is nothing that can be fixed, just having the opportunity to share all that is.
To share hopes and dream and heartbreaks and desires and wins and losses and joys and struggles and so on…
To be able to share the good, the great, the bad and the downright ugly about the end of life experience – for there is aspects of all of these.
For all our improvements in communication and opportunities for doing so through technology and social media, there is still nothing so powerful as two souls deeply communing together.
And for those doing the sharing; the dying, the loved one, the care professional; to have the opportunity to be terrifyingly vulnerable, to know that their authenticity will not be trampled upon, but honoured with the genuine intent of just listening; that is a massive gift in our society today.
So, I lovingly challenge you to deeply listen; not with the intent to reply but to allow the other person to be truly heard. Remember, silent and listen have the same letters.
Turn off the devices, take a cleansing breath or two, settle into your heart space and be fully present.
I think you’ll find it more worthwhile than you can imagine.
If you need someone objective to listen to you, to allow you to be heard, book a session. Click here.
Let me know how you go.
Peace & blessings, Sharon