I was at a function not long ago and as often happens when people find out what I do for a living, a lady that I was talking with started sharing with me an experience that she had that was still giving her grief – literally – many years on.
This lady shared with me how much guilt and regret she carried for not being there when her Mum had died. She had been sitting lovingly with her Mum for hours and hours and she needed to go to the toilet. And as you often hear, her Mum died in those few minutes while she was not in the room. She was quite literally heartbroken that her Mum had died alone, that she was not with her and she felt that she had failed her Mum in the last thing she could do for her. She felt so guilty and that if she could have held on before going to the toilet for just a few more minutes, she would have been there.
At this point, I just moved with this lady into a private area and just held her as she sobbed her heart out. You could feel the pain that was going through her body. She said that she felt so weighed down with this.
When her sobbing started to ease, I just quietly shared with her that sometimes the spirit needs physical space to withdraw, to take that final step to releasing from the physical body and that this is why you hear so often of people dying when loved ones have gone to the toilet or for a coffee or for a smoke. I was also able to share with her that more often than not, loved ones in who are already spirit are also present to escort the person dying across the veil and that her Mum probably wasn’t alone.
I let her know that she had been there, that she had been a truly loving daughter, present to her Mum and that she had nothing for which she needed to feel guilty or regret.
She just looked at me and said she had no idea about spirit needing space and that made her feel a bit better. She also liked the idea that there were some loved ones in spirit there and thought she had felt her brother’s presence in the room. He had died only a few years prior and she didn’t think that her Mum had ever gotten over his death. So that made her feel much better knowing that he was there for their Mum.
I could literally feel the heaviness starting to lift from her and she even said how much lighter she felt and happier about it now. This pain had been weighing her down for over a decade, but in that moment, everything started to change for her.
What we can learn from this is that we don’t need to feel guilt or regret if a loved one dies on their own. Odds are, they aren’t actually on their own and they are doing exactly what they need to do for themselves.
Peace & blessings, Sharon